Lost

Someone asked me this - would I prefer to see and not hear, or to hear and not see? My choice would be the former. My immediate reaction was that loss of sight seems somehow like the lesser of two evils - having poor vision naturally (R-1.75, L-5.50) has really impacted on my view of the world. I treasure the sight I have, the world is so incredible. It makes me sad, that people around me - I have to show them these things with words and gestures - they don't realize that everywhere you look, be it urban, grit, cold walls or a forest - you can find colours, juxtapositions of shapes, something beautiful. Perhaps they don't need to see as much as I do, perhaps I'm pushy. Regardless - just look around you, and see.




To explain how I see, the easiest comparison - the world is a short focus photograph. I love the world I am allowed to inhabit. To look at fields and cities, to have the blades, dirt and angles turn into a Turner, to fractured mosaics, pastel and charcoal smudges - the only sight I ever want to look at with correct vision are the stars.
I grew up in a house accessible through a deep forest. Looking over the peninsula at where my house was situated was akin to looking into an endless abyss of night. There was no light pollution, and we fell under the Milky Way. I can't describe this, as it is something you would have to see - because there is so much more to see than just pinpricks of starlight, a feeling grows in your soul that you cannot shake, the stars affect your senses like no other...

I never see the stars in my adopted Concrete Jungle. However, the sky at dusk is a kaleidoscope of impressionism strewn across the heavens - I never thought pollution could make such glory. The sunset lives, perpetually in motion across the sky. I feel so humbled to see these things in life, as if the colours are painted for me - as they are for you.


Without sound... would everyone I loved, would their voices stay in my mind? Could I recall them? This is what I would miss. I could replay songs in my mind as I believe some melodies would never leave. I would never hear the words I want to hear again, but when do you ever truly hear what you want to hear? From eight a.m. until six p.m., I'm in relative to total silence.
The thought of not being able to look into another person's eyes and feel joy from how blue they are, is the greater evil than the loss of music - to me. The latter remains and the idea terrifies, yet that would be my choice. To even have this choice, to be able to answer this question with my half-thought ramblings - I am blessed enough to have this. I think most days of how blessed I am to have these things.
I cannot imagine the strength that one would need to live without a sense - the power of the human soul is the most beautiful thing - we can't see it, we can't hear it, or touch it - but it is so pure, so beautiful.

Together in Electric Dreams - Phil Oakey (Human League)

3 comments

  1. Anonymous29/4/12 22:53

    but what about music? I cant imagine a life without it...

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  2. I'm so glad to see you back on Blogger again ^_^ A beautiful and thought-provoking post, I really enjoyed reading it.

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  3. aaah love this photo of the sunset.. clouds can be so beautiful :-) x

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